>> Why are people so suspicious of Eris seeking trans friends? She came to the right place, no? <<

Years ago, when I was ... well I'm still naive, but when I was much more naive than I am now... in my early 20's, I once tried to ask some legitimate questions of a group of lesbians for no reason other than my own curiosity. I wanted to know. And on some level my wanting to know usually (if not always) is connected to my wanting to help people. I've always been very interested in social change, both locally and globally, in part I'm sure because I've always been so in-tune with discrimination because of having been the geeky, picked on, outcast kid in school and that really sort of never changing much as I got older (which it turns out is probably because I'm autistic -- I'm pursuing an official diagnosis currently). I realized in retrospect that it really didn't matter how innocuous (or benevolent even) my intentions were with regard to that particular group of lesbians. Each of them had certain experiences, whether real or imagined, that had convinced them that it was impossible for anyone with external equipment to have any intention other than the ulterior motive of working their way into the cliche fantasy of having sex with two lesbians. So it didn't matter how I had phrased my questions - as long as I identified myself honestly as male, the only response I would get was deafening silence. It really bothered me at the time. I'm a bit calmer about it now. I still find myself a bit disheartened when I introduce myself and nobody even says "hi", but I'm not surprised by it anymore and I don't obsess about it the way I did back then. Now I just accept that people have their expectations about my motives and however incorrect they are I probably can't change them.

i will say that suspicious is not particularly what i was feeling. i actually was just curious. It's like although i do sex work i don't really understand the allure of most porn or why johns pay for it. i am constantly wondering about this. In the same way i don't quite understand what the allure of trans folks is for cis people. Sometimes i specifically seek out other trans folks because there is a certain validation and kinship i can sometimes feel with some of us. There is an understanding where i don't have to explain certain things. But what is the draw or attraction for others that don't relate in this way? This is my curiosity. While i'm at it, i would like to point out that asking a question with nothing else attached to it is often not a sign of suspicion. Also, i'm still curious and have never received a reply about hanging out or a response to my question.

Yeah, tribe's forum doesn't have the most intuitive display interface... I could go on and on about how I would prefer to see a forum like this function and why I think it would alleviate a lot of that sort of confusion, etc... But I'd probably be boring everyone here to tears. :)